I’ve read about a lot of philosophies. Some make sense to me, while others don’t. Some feel practical, while others seem wildly impractical, so much so that following them would only make you miserable.

But there’s one philosophy I keep returning to: Absurdism. Whenever I’m tired of trying to make sense of the world, Absurdism greets me like an old friend.

I try. I really do. I try to make sense of life through love, through passion, through purpose, through meaning, through the idea of a God watching over us all. But eventually it all slips away, sometimes through mere questioning, sometimes through a shift in mood, sometimes for no reason at all. And sometimes through betrayal so unexpected that you begin to question everything. It’s absurd. Sure, I could turn my eyes away and find comfort in ignorance, pretend that chaos doesn’t exist. Most people do just that. But the more I run from it, the more I head straight toward it. I still find value in different philosophical thoughts. But most of them tend to offer cookie-cutter answers to the questions of life.

“It’s the way nature intended.”

“It’s the flow.”

“It’s God’s will.”

But those answers often feel suffocating. The idea that a single philosophy should dictate your life is, itself, absurd. Especially when that philosophy demands blind acceptance and discourages questioning. My mind doesn’t work that way. It asks questions, a lot of them. And when I try to silence those questions with canned answers, my mind revolts. I have my own critic in my head, always mocking, always challenging every idea.

How’s absurdism different then?

It doesn’t provide answers. It lets you ask questions, and reminds you that the answer might never arrive or make sense. It sits with you and says, “That’s okay.” As long as you don’t kill yourself, you’re doing fine.

I still believe in my own morality. It’s the way our psychology is wired, we can’t run away from ourselves. Even if no one else is watching, I can’t escape my own conscience. As much as I want to, I can’t stop being a human.

I’ve started to embrace absurdism. Will it be good for me? Maybe. Maybe not.

Do I know the right way to live or the right philosophy to follow?

I don’t know.

Maybe I will someday.

Maybe I won’t.

But whatever happens, I’ll keep asking the questions.